MF DIGEST PRESENTS
THE OSCARS 2004

The 2004 version of the Oscar awards ceremony did not fail to meet the usual standards of pomp and pageantry of yore, breaking away from the tedious political undertones it had acquired last year and concentrating in the really important stuff: the STARS and their outfits! This provided a much needed and refreshing return to what some loopy people would call the "broadway-style crassness and vulgarity inherent in generic award ceremonies." Fie on them! Here at MF Digest we almost soiled our pantaloons in excitement! Everyone this year looked absolutely divine in their frilly dresses and capes. We decided to go around asking various people what they thought of this year's edition of the Oscars and what they liked the most about the show. 





"Why, of course, the best thing is that I won and the others lost! Hahaha!"










 "Thank god we're siamese twins, because we had no chance of winning on acting merits alone."








"Why are you talking to me? You're going to criticise my clothes aren't you? You think I'm fat don't you? A collosal ball of greasy lard, no? Oh I knew I should've had another laxative. Look at my adipose tissue! LOOK! FEEL THE LOOSE BLUBBER! SEE IT QUIVER!  SEE IT BOUNCE!

BOUNCE!

BOUNCE!!!!"







"I swear, I was only going to get some bread for my family! Please don't hurt me anymore! May Allah bless you! AAAAAAGH! Please, please...!!!"









"BOUNCE!"










"Prithee mortal, is my cape straight?"









 "Thanks to the blue fairy now I can finally become a real human boy!"











"WHAT WILL YOU DO? SPIT PHLEGM AND STICK KNITTING NEEDLES IN MY EYES?"










"We do not talk to comrade Stalin, da?"
"I just don't understand it. I thought that if I got rid of all my thetans I could really win this time. Oh God! Can my life get any worse?"






"I can still see my babies, scorched to cinders, charred limbs tossing relentlessly in the smouldering rubble. O merciful death, why didn't you take me instead?"








"Sod the Oscars. THERE'S NO CHOCOLATE IN THIS! I'm dying of hunger!"









 "I'm dying of hunger."










"I'm dying of hunger."










"Let them eat cake."




 

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